Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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