you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
