Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how can u be prego again
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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