finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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