if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
