i think i have two assholes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
is it fun? or sober?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
try to milk me bitch
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
