I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
