Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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