Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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