no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
