are you still at the devil's house?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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