Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Green mimosas i think yes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
