when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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