i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He did a backflip because drugs
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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