I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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