I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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