apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
