i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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