YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize