Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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