Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
