This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
