Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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