I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's official drugs can't kill me
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have already put on my inside pants.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
