i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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