last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
