I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize