My room smells like vodka and shame
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize