When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
