Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Swine flu. Run for my life!

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  (310) Swine flu. Run for my life! http://tfl.nu/6pt3
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.

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  (914): Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective. http://tfl.nu/41o9
  Replies (15) Good night (537) Bad night (1778) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

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  (604): Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life. http://tfl.nu/tq60
  Replies (15) Good night (942) Bad night (3661) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly

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  (228): She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly http://tfl.nu/58r9
  Replies (24) Good night (730) Bad night (7098) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Wish you were here....

  (734): View more from Michigan

  And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?

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  (734): Wish you were here.... (734): And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it? http://tfl.nu/j5nc
  Replies (36) Good night (1904) Bad night (6803)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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  (910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py
  Replies (13) Good night (2369) Bad night (3078) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."

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  (774): I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..." http://tfl.nu/yy1j
  Replies (8) Good night (4269) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.

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  (503): Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate. http://tfl.nu/7ogi
  Replies (13) Good night (2481) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

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  (314): Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard? http://tfl.nu/d7iq
  Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself

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  (773): Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself http://tfl.nu/pyfv
  Replies (14) Good night (1035) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Drink for every country you've never heard of.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fuuuuuuuuuck

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  (815): Drink for every country you've never heard of. (630): Fuuuuuuuuuck http://tfl.nu/g5f9
  Replies (9) Good night (2463) Bad night (461)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

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  (281): Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again? http://tfl.nu/lpz3
  Replies (7) Good night (1471) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (948): View more from

  He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.

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  (948): He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE. http://tfl.nu/y75n
  Replies (17) Good night (437) Bad night (2307) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.

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  (606): Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK. http://tfl.nu/wl4e
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?

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  (215): One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/l1va
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt

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