Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.