He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
