So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?