Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've blown a few things in my day
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.