Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
