Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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