for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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