Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
