I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
