Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
