Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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