His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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