No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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