i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
