I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
