She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
