Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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