i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
