Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize