I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Enjoy the penises
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize