I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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