is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
