no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We need to get me chipped asap
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
