Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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