I'm going to jail i love you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize