I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My nipple is on Facebook.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
