Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
