im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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