Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
