i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
