I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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