Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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