so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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