Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Will exercising make me less horny?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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